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Free gay dating does have with a sushi restaurant. Simple Google searches can bring up the results of these countless studies, with some statistics hovering just above or below these conclusions. So what does that mean for single gay folks looking for love?
It seems that many of us create laundry lists of must-haves for what we desire our Mr. Right to possess in terms of personal attributes and qualities. The lists go on and on. Of course, we all have unique attractions, preferences, and boundaries, but when we date through a binary lens, we rob ourselves of opportunities to meet people who might actually be great partners for us.
How many amazing could-have-been relationships have been lost because of rigidity in partner selection criteria? According to the American Psychological Association and numerous other studies that support these findings, LGBT individuals tend to suffer from more mental illness and chemical dependency issues than the rest of the population. This likely stems from being a marginalized group that is discriminated against, which leads to internalized homophobia and issues with low self-esteem. Our gay community also tends to glamorize the party-and-play PNP culture, further contributing to the potential for substance abuse problems.
Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender men and women often have more mental health issues and addictions than their heterosexual counterparts. This is both a micro- and a macro-level problem that needs intervention. This lack of education and training in dating and relationships puts all of us, regardless of sexual orientation, at a considerable disadvantage to finding a compatible mate.
The gay community tends to glamorize sex, which keeps people from forming real relationships.
To complicate matters, the glamorization of sex in the gay community with its tendency to eroticize all aspects of being gay reinforces a hookup culture , which only serves to distance us from real forms of intimacy and connection. For those truly desiring a long-term relationship, this can create frustration and a major barrier.
As outdated and vintage as the term courting may sound, this old ritual to dating — which has now become a lost art form — at least provided a framework and foundation toward establishing a bond and creating a connection with someone. I believe a revival of courtship is needed in these contemporary times to promote more successful dating practices and provide a structure for relationship development that seems to be lacking nowadays.
The latter scenario ultimately makes them invisible or shields them from any real contact from men outside their circle who may find them interesting.
Dating is difficult in general, but gay dating is even harder. Add to the fact that gays often date with the seasons, and half the year is either. I'm also a firm believer that the gay dating scene is a nightmare compared to the straight scene (can't talk about the bi dating scene, sadly I don't know many bi.
Shyness and the fear of rejection were largely named as the reasons behind their lack of initiative in walking up and introducing themselves to someone they find attractive and intriguing. This is another example of missed opportunities. This contributes to the weakening of social skills and flirting abilities that many of us in the relationship coaching industry have observed in our work with clients over the past decade or more.